DO ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN?

 (This is a post by Jim Daly, President of Focus On The Family, Oct. 9th)

A colleague sent me a note the other day, more of a joke than anything, about a business that promises to take care of your pet after the Rapture.

But it's no joke. It's a real for-profit enterprise.

The company, Eternal Earth Bound Pets, USA, was started by a consortium of atheists. From their website:

"Q: Is this a joke? A: No. This is a serious offer to our Christian friends who believe in the Second Coming and honestly care about the future of their pets after the Rapture occurs."

They charge $110 per house and promise to place your animal with those left behind. They claim it's "The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World."

(End of post)

People, please. Tell me that we are not this gullible. I have trouble with the whole pet over-indulgence that goes on now- the dog ice cream treats, the pet camps, the doggie hotels, dog clothes, ect., ect., ect. And I love dogs. (well, most dogs). If something were to happen to my sweet chocolate lab Ginger, I would cry like a baby. But Ginger and I have already come to an agreement on this one: When I'm raptured, she has my full permission to eat anything in the kitchen. She can also sleep on the couch without having to jump down and pretend she hasn't been up there. She can puke on the carpet, and use it as her own personal litter box.  She already knows that if our landlord isn't raptured, she's screwed, and will have to move on to plan #2. Plan #2 consists of going to her friend Rocky's house, (his parents own their home), and squatting there. From there, carry out plan #1. Very simple. If you haven't made a post-rapture plan with your pet, I urge you sit down and make one ASAP.           1Cor 15:52  says that the Lord will come "in the twinkling of an eye."  So be prepared. Do you really trust some Atheist to feed your dog when no one's watching? And heaven forbid you leave the task up to some un-raptured teenager. You and I know that without constant nagging, that kid will NOT feed the dog, and your beloved Spike will be dead before the week is out.

I would also like to point out 2 humorous points that stuck out to me about the ad:

1) These Atheist: They believe that we are going to be raptured, and still call themselves Atheists? And better yet, they would rather hang out here and feed my dog instead of living in eternal bliss? Hmmm...

2) ..".an offer to our Christian friends." I've been called a lot of things by Atheists since I became a Christian, but "friend" ain't been one of them. I bet it was only the thought of all that money they were gonna suck out some poor mislead soul that made them put those two words together,,,

But really, I just found this EXTREMELY FUNNY! And I also slapped my forehead when I read it, because there went another stupid little idea worth millions, right through my fingers. Have you heard of the book titled "The 4- Hour Workweek?" It's a plan some guy has came up with to cut your work hours down to a maximum of 4 hours/week, and make at least $40,000/ month. It was a fabulous book until I reached chapter 3 and realized that to succeed with this plan, you had to first actually have SOME kind of income already coming in. DAMN! I was so close!  But the pet/rapture idea puts that to shame. These people are going to be rich, and not have to work until everyone else is gone! Now that's a job right there. You KNOW they're prayin' the boss gets raptured...hopefully the chick doing payroll is an Atheist, though!! I personally would want to be a post-rapture car salesman. You thought buying a car before was hell??

Hopefully, my pastor never discovers this blog. In case he does..(DISCLAIMER: The preceeding message was merely a musing, at best, a joke, and none of it should be taken as theologically sound in any way, shape, or form).

THE MOST WONDERFUL DAY OF THE YEAR>>

     This quote from my friend's mom this morning. She said she had to go have her yearly check-up today, and I jokingly asked her if she was excited. "Spreading my legs and not getting a reward is not my idea of fun." Amen sister. I told her that I would be calling Starbucks immediately, to see if I could get that put on the side of their coffee cups. Much better than some of the things I have read on there. Also thinking of having my mom sew that saying on a pillow for my Christmas present....Maybe have some t-shirts printed..

How We Survived Without Texting

As my teenage daughter sits here in the living room with her ever-present I-pod Touch, I wonder how we survived without knowing where all of our friends were at the click of a button. WHAT DID WE DO?  I vaguely remember riding my bike or walking over to my friend's house to see what was going on. BUT WHAT IF THEY WEREN'T HOME? Well then, I just counted it as good exercise and went back home. That was also back when every other kid you saw wasn't obese. Was there a link between the two? (continued)

     And then we got our driver's license. Friday night rolled around, and how did we find out where our "peeps" were, so we could go do something that we probably shouldn't?  People one by one would magically assemble in the convenience store parking lot. We would pull up, roll down our windows, sometimes actually get out of the car, and have a face to face interaction with an actual live person. Not their profile icon on a little 3x5 screen, but actually the person. It was all so difficult and painful, interacting with others. That's why alcohol had to be involved...(just kidding).

     Don't get me wrong, technology is wonderful. If not for the invention of the coffee maker, microwave, and hair straightener, I probably would not have survived to write this post at all. What drives me crazy is that all these gadgets were supposed to allow us to be more efficient, so that in turn, we could spend more time doing what we wanted-quality time with our family, friends, ect.  Instead, I see a society that would be totally happy to sit in their chairs, and surf between YouTube,  itunes, and text the people in our lives, without ever having to actually interact with them. What happened? Did we overshoot the mark a tad?

     Now if I could propose we take technology another direction.  Let's say that teenage daughter of mine decides to put the gadget down and actually leave the house. How about  we install some sort of microchip, so I can track her down? Nothing offensive, just some little device that gets injected behind her ear maybe. Also, for those moments when the child disagrees with me and displays offensive behavior, why not a stylish shock necklace? It works well on dogs, and some kids already wear what looks like a collar anyways! Just something to think about, if your in the industry....but I get the patent on it..

WHY "REDNECK GENIUS"?

...AND WHY WOULD ANYONE READ THIS!? They probably won't! But I have nothing better to do with my time, apparently. ..
     The name "REDNECK GENIUS" was given to me by my friend Carolyn. I am from a very small town, with small town, some would say "redneck", qualities. Carolyn, on the other hand, is from a much larger town from back east. She is much more refined..(she thinks), than I am. I simply hide my refinement on the inside, so that I don't intimidate others. I don't know when she first formed the impression that I was redneck. It might have happened the1st time I picked her up to go somewhere, and I was driving my pickup,(not new, not even with seatbelts..)  with my dog in the back. The 1st intersection we came to downtown, my dog saw a squirrel and jumped out of the back, chasing it across the 4-way intersection. A traffic riot ensued, but eventually I retrieved my dog in a park nearby. Exciting, yes, but not out of the ordinary for me. Had Carolyn not been occupying the passenger seat, the dog would have been, and we could have avoided the whole mess.    Probably from that point on, she began to make a mental file of sorts, and although my charm won her over as a friend, I'm sure she thought I wasn't the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. Little did she know...
     Fast forward a few months later, and we were several weeks into a book study that we were doing together. We were conducting this session from the inside of my car, #1), to get away from our children , and #2), so we could hit the Starbucks drive thru on the way. (multi-tasking at it's best). So there we were, deep in discussion on something we had read, and I must have said something profound. Because she got this strange look on her face, looked me in the eye, and said, "You know, you are actually really intelligent."
     At first, I thought, "what a nice compliment."...Then came the,"wait a minute, you thought I was a moron all of this time!?" Anyways, it is our own little personal joke, and I don't know if it was that day or soon after, that she came up with this nickname for me-The Redneck Genius. The ultimate oxymoron. And I pretty much am an oxymoron, I guess. I am very well-read, actually have a photographic memory, but have yet to hold down a job that requires me to dress in anything above jeans. (unless you want to count that waitress outfit).  In fact, if you have a job that would involve me getting to drive a tractor, or some sort of heavy machinery, I have, and will ,do it for free.  I love to go to the mall with my friend- but if I see a truck anywhere in the parking lot with over a 4" lift, I make her drive over there so I can check it out.(She has mentioned counseling many times on this issue..). The list goes on and on.
     So that's the story about the name. I'm really trying out the whole blog thing because my friends are always asking me "when am I going to take my show on the road?" I have no idea what that means, but I decided to take my show on the road-from right here on the couch.